Jesus is the Word of God
There was a time when I was more captivated in seeing the 'flesh' form of Jesus in a vision or dream, rather than seeing Him as the Word. I used to pray fervently to see the face of Jesus in my dream when all the while He was talking to me during my meditations. I also used to feel sad about not being able to attend Bible camps and Bible studies. I used to think that being taught by a Bible teacher was the only way to understand God's word better and deeper. I now think that my yearning to go out to camps and Bible studies so that I know the Bible seems like Saul preferring Gamaliel to teach him the scriptures when Jesus was all the while moving around, openly accessible to anyone. The disciples of Emmaus had their eyes opened at the breaking of the bread. It took them just an evening to recognize, but it took me years to realize that God was with me all the while. I was literally fascinated with the stories from the gospel, that Jesus as a 'flesh' or human became a more primary understanding than that He was and is the Word of God. So, ironically in some sense, Jesus is the flesh that became the Word, to me.
Twice God had to correct me in this regard. Once when I was in church, God spoke to me through the lyrics of a song, asking me, "Is it enough for you to just know how my face looks? Do you think that is what matters when you spend time with me in Eternity?" That is the last day I prayed for seeing His face in a dream. I knew that a personal relationship where He reveals His nature to me through His word and through constant communion with Him is far more important than me seeing His face. The second time I was corrected, was after I finished seeing a fictional movie where people encountered Jesus in a modern scenario. My heart sighed to the Lord, 'Won't You be near and talk to me in an audible way as was depicted in the movie'. It probably was within an hour, when I opened the Bible to a random passage that God spoke to me through Psalm 145:18. It had since become my favorite verse. 'The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth'. Jesus had spoken to me several times, and whenever I called out to Him through His word. So, if Jesus were to ask me, 'Who do you say I am?', this would be my first response. 'You are the living Word of God'.
Jesus is the Son of God
As a child, I had always wondered why Jesus had to cry out, 'My God, My God, why has Thou forsaken me?' I wondered why the Son of God had to feel lonely and forsaken at the cross. I wondered what the weight of the sin of the whole world must have been for the Prince of heaven to cry under the burden of it all. It probably was not the agony of death that Jesus dreaded in Gethsemane, but this singular moment in the history of the universe where He had to become sin and face the wrath of God, that made Him sweat out blood. To know that He did that for me melts my heart. Thus, ‘love’ to me as a child was embodied in Christ. So, I wondered why we say, ‘may the love of God’ during our benedictions, shouldn’t that be ‘love of Christ’ I questioned. But God in His mercy put a different question in my mind. Instead of wondering why Jesus cried out like that, I began to wonder how it would have been for the Father to hear His only begotten Son cry out to Him in that manner. Words fail me. It was then when I even began to understand the uncomprehendable love of the Father. I know that He has given me the promise, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you' and what a cost had He to pay to say that to me. As L T Jeyachandran would say, the overflowing of the love within the Trinity is the love of God for humanity. In human terms if I had to think, Jesus' love for God made Him ask God, 'May this cup pass from me', it was also the same love for God that made Him say, 'Not my will but Your will be done'. Not the moments when Jesus called God, 'My Father', but the moment at the cross when Jesus cried out, 'My God', made me realize that Jesus is the Son of God. For Sonship is not just an identity or a position. It is not even just an experiential relationship. The Sonship of Jesus is reality. It is truth and love in its ultimate form. So, if Jesus were to ask me again, 'Who do you say I am?', I might not dare say, 'You are the Son of God.' For, such knowledge is far too wonderful for me.
Jesus is my Savior and Lord
I used to cringe when someone asks me my born again date. I didn't remember when that happened. For even in my earliest memories I remember having a personal relationship with God. I knew that I was a child of God because Jesus died on the cross and resurrected to save me. But I don't remember that first prayer that I would have said asking Jesus to be my Savior and Lord. Though I don't remember the date, I always knew that He was and is my Savior and I loved that He was and is my Lord. I used to wonder and even ask God why I wasn't born a non-Christian and then come to the saving grace. I thought that would have been better. God in His mercies again spoke to me through His word from Psalm 103: 17 - that God's love is on those who fear him, to their children's children. He reminded me that receiving His saving grace since my childhood was such a wonderful blessing that He gave me. Since then, I never cringe about not knowing my born again date! He has always been my Savior, and what a joy to know that since my birth.
The fact that He is my Savior feels even more real when I am battling sin. There were sins that I never thought I would be able to get rid of. I felt some sins had become a part of me and indivisible from me. Yet, through His mercies, He shows me again and again that He is the Savior who can save me even from myself. But I do know that there is still a long way to go! The fact that He is my Lord is very real when I pray. Often to me, prayer is like reporting to duty and asking my Lord what He wants me to do.
Well, this will remain a work in progress. For I am a work in progress! He is still working on me. So, I'll always be working on this article as well :)
Link to the article: Who do you say I am?
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