C S Lewis in his article on pride wrote, ‘the more pride one had, the more one disliked pride in others. In fact, if you want to find out how proud you are the easiest way is to ask yourself, how much do I dislike it when other people snub me, or refuse to take any notice of me, or shove their oar in, or patronize me, or show off?’. Well, I did dislike pride in others, and I did dislike when others try to patronize me. So, recognizing my pride was quite easy. However, battling it, was and continues to be a long journey. In my battle against pride, I’ve often wondered what being humble truly meant. One could easily spot a proud person or a humble person. However, to articulate what aspect of what they did made them proud or humble wasn’t easy. Even if one could identify few traits, it wasn’t always universal. Thus, defining pride or humility by external traits seemed to be a futile task. This, I learned through my experience of trying to manufacture the fruit of humility by exuding certain external traits, as I have described below.
Initially, I confused humility to a claim of ignorance, of being able to say, 'I really don't know much, you should ask someone else'. Though I agreed to the premise that I didn't know things exhaustively, I had many opinions and perspectives to offer. I couldn't agree with equating 'not being opinionated' to humility. Then I confused humility with being soft-spoken. Well! Moses wasn't soft-spoken. Yet, we read in the Bible that Moses was a very humble man. Jesus wasn't soft-spoken all the time. Yet, we wouldn’t say Jesus wasn't humble at the time he over-turned the table. So, that's off the table too. Then I thought humility was 'not taking credit', of being able to say, 'I didn't do it, it is God who did it all'. But guess what! I was not able to say that truly. For example, after hosting a program, when someone appreciates me, I did want to say, 'It was not me, it was God'. But instead of that sounding humble, (because of what I truly thought) saying that statement sounded to me as the very definition of spiritual pride, and false humility. I tried so hard to conjure up reasons due to which that statement is true. 'I am alive and have been blessed with talents and intelligence by God, so what I do is to be attributed to God.' But I wasn't convinced of that reason. For, if whatever I do with my talents can be attributed to God, then even the sins I do with them should be, right? The logic was sound, but the conclusion horrendous. It is not that I couldn't open a dictionary, or a concordance Bible and figure out a definition, and supporting Bible verses. I did that. I just didn't have the 'aha' moment yet.
Then I heard someone give me a beautiful analogy. He held a book in his hands, a book that he did not author. He then said, Could I ever be proud of authoring this book? He answered ‘no’, and explained that one can’t be proud of something which they know they didn't accomplish. I then tried to extend the analogy. Could a mad person be proud of a book he didn’t author? Yes, if he misconceives in his mind that he authored the book. Could the author of the book be proud that he had authored the book? Yes, as it is a work of his hands. I then realized that during the moments that I am proud, I am either like the mad man, proud of something that I presumed to have accomplished; or like the author, proud of something I accomplished. So, the cure to my pride was two-fold. Firstly, I asked God to open my eyes, and help me see the ways in which He is authoring my life, and truly then praise Him saying, 'in this aspect, it was not me, it was God who accomplished this through me'. Secondly, I asked God to help me trust Him more so that, I don't end up taking up things that I can do with my own strength and leave out the umpteen opportunities and challenges that He has in store for me, something which I would never be able to accomplish with my own strength. I wanted to attempt great things for God, through the power of the Holy Spirit. In short, humility is not just saying, 'it was God who accomplished', but it is in truly relying on God to accomplish something impossible by one’s own strength, and then giving Him the credit. Just to reiterate the thought, let us think about the parable of talents. Matthew 25: 20 reads, 'Master, YOU delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more'. Humility doesn't mean saying, 'Master, you have made five more talents'. Humility is acknowledging what the Master gave, accomplishing something with that, and accepting the rightful appreciation that comes from the Master. For often, it is the proud who can’t accept praise!
Similar to the example of the mad man who thought he authored the book, King Nebuchadnezzar claimed, 'Is this not the great Babylon, which I built by the might of my power and for the glory of my majesty'. He did not recognize that it was God who raised Nebuchadnezzar up and gave him a kingdom. When one is proud, they try and take credit that is due God. In contrast, we could also end up doing something in a self-reliant manner, and then try and use God’s name in that. Such are the actions of those who have spiritual pride. We read about the seven sons of Sceva. They proudly presumed that they were ‘great disciples’ able to do great things for God. However, even the devil refused to believe that (as recorded in Acts 19). If one falsely tries to attribute knowing God and doing works with His strength, the door is just shut on their face, with the Lord saying, ‘I know you not’. In foolish pride, we may reject God and try doing things, and even challenging God with our mortal strength. In spiritual pride, we may still rely on ourselves but falsely believe and portray ourselves to be people reliant on God. Either way, we are doomed to fall. For, self-reliance is the root of pride, and pride comes before the fall. That's why God hates this attitude in His servants. We read in the Bible that, though David knew that God was fighting the battles for him and that God was the One giving David the victory, he still wanted to take a census to know the number of people whom he can use in the army. This tendency towards self-reliance angered God, and David had to face severe consequences for his actions.
The newfound understanding on humility raised a question. If self-reliance is the root, and being self-reliant and saying, 'I can do all things' is pride, is pride the only opposite of humility? I think not. Being self-reliant and saying, 'I can't do anything' is cowardliness, which is also opposite to humility. When Moses gave excuses to God near the burning bush, he wasn't being humble, he was being cowardly. When Barak refused to trust in God when Deborah informed him of God's call, Bible doesn't record it as the humility of Barak. A deeper character study of Saul, the first king of Israel also reveals his lack of reliance on God. In the beginning, Saul hid when being called to be a king. He was cowardly. He thought he couldn't be a king as he didn't have the strength for it. But, he wasn't asked to be the king relying on his strength. He was asked to rely on God's strength. He never learned that till the end. He was cowardly in the beginning, and proud at the end, self-reliant through and through. If those who are self-reliant and proud end up challenging God, those who are self-reliant and cowardly end up seeking an alliance with the world. Israel asked for a king and wanted to be like everybody else. Later Israel's kings also chose to seek an alliance with Egypt, and Syria rather than surrender to God. Humility is the realization of one's need for God, and also the active reliance on God to accomplish great things through one’s self, for God’s glory.
In summary, the proud say, 'I can do all things by myself'. The cowardly say, 'I cannot do anything'. The humble say, 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me'. Any imprecise or incomplete definition of humility will only take us from one pit named pride, to another pit named cowardice. God works through the humble who know they can't do things by their own strength but are willing to do His work with His strength. God surely then exalts them and says, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant'.
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